54-THE COUPLE

With regards to the hypothetical couple that I’ve chosen, both partners are eighteen years of age and heterosexual. They have been having regular sex for two years with both their parents’ approval, and they are both intent on avoiding disease and pregnancy. She has an LARC arm implant, and they can’t get enough of each other, so for now, fidelity and pregnancy are not a problem. They both agree to be answerable to all four parents who support them unconditionally, and this fosters mutual affection and trust.

They share thoughts and feelings concerning their parents, siblings, teachers, friends and pets, and talk about everything under the sun. They have read theworldofgam.com, and are aware they are living in the best of all possible worlds. They know they are animals that have become intelligent, and that, as intelligent animals, they have the possibility of exercising some control over their autonomic nervous system. If they succeed in curbing the disruptive forces of their ANS, mainly with regards to reproduction, they can look forward to a lifelong relationship in a happy family context.

They are aware that all beings are beautiful and fulfilled when in a nurturing or creative mode, and that’s why they both want to form a lifelong family team and do what they love doing for a living. They have just finished high school, but do not plan to go to college until they are absolutely sure of what they want to do for a living. For now, he wants to become an architect. He has been working summers for a local building contractor and the latter has agreed to employ him full time. His passion is to conceive and eventually build self-sustaining buildings. She is very interested in animals and wants to be a veterinarian. After working summers at a local zoo, she has been offered an assistant’s position fulltime. Her passion is living with plants and animals and learning how to take care of them. They will rent a modest house on the outskirts of the city in order to have the full experience of living together. They want the responsibilities of looking after a house, having a garden and pets, and doing daily chores. His father gave them his car when he upgraded to a hybrid, and that takes care of transportation. They are committed to living together three years, and will not marry or have kids till the end of that period, if they so decide. If one of them changes his or her mind during the trial period, they will go their separate ways, no matter how painful. All four parents are partners to this agreement and will support them in any way they can.

As they go about working in the real world as apprentices, they will pay for their own living expenses. As for college tuition, their parents have already planned ahead by creating a fund for that very purpose. In the meantime, they will glean all the knowledge they possibly can from their coworkers, and sign up for all pertinent online university courses while waiting to register at university in order to terminate their degrees, and pursue their life’s passion.

They are active teens who jog and swim on a regular basis and will continue to do so. They will each have a smartphone, but will use them strictly for meaningful communication. Like her mother, she refuses to wear the badge of femininity, no matter how great the social pressures. But of course, she doesn’t intend giving up on bizarre hairdos, fun clothing, and junky jewellery. They intend to cut the cable and stick to reading, watching movies and making and listening to music. Inviting friends over for simple home prepared meals made with natural ingredients will be a lot of fun. His father already makes his own wine, and he plans to team up with him. Making wine with his dad will be a nice way for them to bond, and enjoying the odd glass of wine with his wife-to-be and friends over home-cooked meals will make for heart-warming experiences.

Accumulating wealth will never be their main objective. However, because they live in a world where it’s rather easy to make money, it’s not to be dismissed out of hand. Real estate values tend to rise, so owning one’s own home is a starting point. As for making real money, the couple will sit down and decide which multinational they want working for them. They’ll choose one that makes things they personally believe in and that are indispensable to the human race, like food, transport, communication, biotechnology and energy. Once they’re convinced they have the right company, they’ll buy shares in it every time they have spare money. Buying shares via the internet is a rather cheap and easy way to go about doing just that. Once the shares are bought, they’ll forget about them. They’ll never play the market. Their capital will grow as the world markets grow, and by adding to their capital little by little, down the road, they’ll have more than enough for their children’s education and their own retirement. If they adopt a healthy lifestyle, are passionate about their work, own their own home, and invest their extra cash in their chosen multinationals, they’ll have done away with most material obstacles that usually prove disastrous to young married couples, and thus be free to have and raise children. However, the greatest destructive force that they’ll have to face in their relationship is still lurking in the wings.

Because they have read theworldofgam.com, this young couple knows that most males are genetically programmed to reproduce well into old age whereas all females cease to reproduce at menopause. They know that though both their sex drive will diminish as they grow older, his ANS may incite him to reproduce with younger women, and therefore, they must get ready to counter such an eventuality. If, instead of facing the problem, they insist on being defined by their libido, he will sow his oats afield, she will look for a more stable alpha, and they’ll end up divorcing.

Fortunately, they know that human means intelligent, and that they have some say in complying with their ANS. For instance, if one is hungry, one can have an apple or a processed meat sandwich, and if one is thirsty, one can have a glass of water or a can of pop laced with sugar. The individual has no choice but to quench his thirst or satiate his hunger, but because he’s intelligent, he can choose how to do it, and with what. In a similar manner, will can be applied to reproducing, and that’s the secret to countering the destructive forces of the ANS. If we don’t eat and drink properly, we may become obese, and if we don’t reproduce properly, we will probably have a disastrous lonely life. So, if the couple is to survive the midlife crisis, they both have to fully understand and accept the reality of their evolution and their ANS.

They know they are animals that became intelligent when hominids broke the time barrier some three million years ago. They know that being intelligent means they can connect past experiences with the present, and use that knowledge to make a better future. They know that sex is not love. Sex is forced upon them by their ANS in order to reproduce, whereas love is the result of intimacy which depends on education, and hence, intelligence. All beings are forced to have sex, regardless of specie, therefore, when the couple’s sex life is on the wane and his ANS incites him to look at younger women, they’ll both know what’s happening and he will categorically refuse to take Viagra or give in to his ANS. They are fortunate to be intimate with each other, both intellectually and physically, so when they hit the WALL, having always refused to let their libido define them as humans, she may even be able to poke fun at him when he starts looking sideways at younger women.

Their love will grow as their family grows, and not much self-control will be needed to resist his having sex with a stranger, for who would knowingly risk losing the warmth and joy that a loving family provides, and that took years to build, in order to try sashimi served by a young geisha? Regardless, as their mutual affection grows, and as they go gaga over their grandchildren, they’ll both know that destroying their family life for a furtive romp in the sack with another is totally insane. Love will win over sex, especially if they are fully aware of the pressures that the ANS is putting on them, and they are.

If they’re really lucky, they’ll discover that one of the most beautiful things in the world, is growing old gracefully. An older woman sitting at her computer writing her book, nursing an animal back to health in her veterinarian clinic, or giving TLC to the plants in her garden, are beautiful sights to behold. And what about an older man teaching his grandson how to build a tree house, or his granddaughter how to play violin! What’s so bad about growing old? Does the woman have to become a wrinkled Barbie, or the man a ridiculous Casanova?

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53-THE ART OF INTIMACY

Meaningful rewarding relationships, whether sex is involved or not, are impossible unless one learns to be intimate. I choose to replace the word love with intimacy because love is used in all sorts of concoctions, like in ‘making love’, a totally absurd expression. Though sexual attraction can morph into love over time, sex is not love. Sex lasts an instant, sexual attraction can last a few years, but  love like the one felt for a parent lasts a lifetime.

Intimacy is the cornerstone of our happiness, for if we don’t learn how to be intimate as a child, we are condemned to having lame relationships throughout our whole life. Intimacy requires the ability to open and commit, that is, to trust to the point of being vulnerable, and that’s not the easiest thing to do. It requires suspending control, while merging emotionally. We have an innate need to experience physical and emotional closeness with another human being in order to grow emotionally, and that need for connection is with us from the day we’re born. If we are to have a chance at a fulfilling life, we have to be taught to connect at that time.

Historically, tribes were a critical part of our human experience, for we needed the group in order to survive. If one was banished from his tribe that was as good as a death sentence. In the global village, that is no longer the case, but if a child does not experience intimacy, it’s akin to being banished by the larger tribe, for establishing meaningful future relationships will be impossible. From day one, the child must be treated as a full member of the family team, he must be shown intimacy, valorized and supported on an ongoing basis, or else he will spend his whole life unconnected in a great but sad virtual world. The secret to a good life is to belong to a family where children are intimately connected to parents and siblings, which in turn allows the child to later repeat the process by creating his own family.

The following is a summary of what the American Psychological Association says on how parents can connect with their children. ‘Parents must be available for their children at bedtime, before dinner, and in the car, in order to let them know they care about what’s happening in their lives. Conversations should be initiated by sharing what they have been thinking about. They have to make sure they let their kids know they’re listening by stopping whatever they’re doing. They should respect their privacy by treating matters one on one, and express interest in what they are saying without being intrusive. Letting them complete their point before responding and repeating to make sure they know that the parent understands them correctly is highly recommended. Parents should soften strong reactions; kids will tune them out if they appear angry or defensive. Parents should express their opinion without putting down theirs, while acknowledging that it’s okay to disagree. Letting them know that nobody is necessarily right or wrong, that circumstances have to be weighed in, while focusing on the child’s feelings is a wise modus operandi.

Parents should ask their children what they may want or need from them in a conversation, such as advice, simply listening, help in dealing with feelings or help solving a problem. Kids learn by imitating. Most often, they will follow the parents’ lead in how they deal with anger, solve problems and work through difficult feelings. Because kids also learn from their own choices, parents shouldn’t feel they have to step in as long as the consequences are not dangerous. Realizing their children may test them by telling them only a small part of what is bothering them, parents can encourage them to talk and may even get them to share the rest of the story if they listen carefully to what they say.

Listening and talking is the key to a healthy connection between parents and children. To the small child, a mother’s or father’s words are important, comforting, and soothing. Parents should use this to their advantage, for communicating thoughts and ideas is not a skill they or their children are born with. They shouldn’t just love them, they should tell them they love them. If parents create a trusting intimate relationship from the day their child is born, it’ll naturally carry on into the very difficult teen years and beyond.’

If a child is to have the best quality of life in the best of all possible worlds, he or she has to be familiar with intimacy. As for the parents who have never been connected, the cycle can be broken and their kids spared if they know why they have difficulty being intimate and if they don’t stop trying to do something about it.

Because too many of us have never known intimacy, the 100-year-old sexual revolution that we’re undergoing is a social disaster. Since I am an enlightened victim, I intend to shed light on the subject, and since it’s an almost impossible task, all I can do is acquaint as many people as possible with my findings. So far, in previous postings, although not exhaustive in nature, I have given what I think is a plausible account of how we got to this wonderful world of credit. That was the easy part. Now, I have to show to those who accept my synopsis of history, ways to take advantage of that great world. With that in mind, I decided to depict the life of two imaginary horny teens who both have been taught intimacy by their parents, and who are both intent on finding the key to having a family that’ll defy the passage of time. By showing how they go about planning for a permanent family dream team, and especially how they intend to deal with the sexual minefield that lies before them, it should create a mood for fruitful reflection.

52-INTELLIGENCE, RELIGION, AND MENOPAUSE

3mya, when hominids became intelligent, it meant they had the ability to connect past experiences with the present and use that knowledge to plan future actions. Naturally, they were no longer subjected to the laws of natural selection. So, after millennia of sexual frustration, the lower order males were now able to devise ways to outsmart the alpha male in order to access the females and reproduce. Realizing that they could experience sexual pleasure without waiting for the females to be in estrus, the males started forcing themselves on the physically weaker gender at will. In time, the genetic pool deteriorated, and it proved to be a double catastrophe for the females, for the males now started to be selective as well.

The males, however, shouldn’t be blamed for this turn of events. Intelligence allowed them to follow a path of least resistance in order to give free expression to their sexual drive, and they simply took it. Like water and electricity, and other forces in the universe, humans are wired to take the path of least resistance, if given a chance. But in order for intelligent individuals to live in a group, there has to be rules and controls. In the natural selection environment of old, the male alpha used muscle in order to establish order, spread the best genes and ensure the survival of the group, but as hominids left that world, those controls slowly disappeared, and humans had to devise new ones. Around 5kya, they did just that by creating writing, reading, and religion.

Nonetheless, women kept being treated like cattle. They were used as field hands and baby machines, and they were sold and bought in sophisticated ways by means of a dowry or a bride price. If the fathers wanted to get rid of extra daughters, they paid a dowry, if a family wanted to achieve a higher social rank by associating with a higher-ranking family through marriage, it paid a bride price. Women had no say, they could be marketed at any age, and all that mattered was that they be a virgin. Of course, making sure the young girls were virgins meant they were even more mistreated at the hands of their fathers. On the other hand, if women learned to read and write, they were perceived as male threat, and the macho society would accuse them of witchcraft, burn them at the stake, or send them to rot in a convent.

It was only in 1600CE, when the world of credit took root in Amsterdam, that women could begin entertaining the possibility of emancipation. When the Sephardi and the Huguenots created the Dutch East India Company in Amsterdam, in 1600, they ruled the oceans of the world and wrenched world financial power away from the Vatican in the process. In 1689, they moved their headquarters to the City in London, and created the first democracy. Women did not yet vote and weren’t allowed to own property, but it was a start. When Mayer created his bank, the Bank of North America in 1781, it was another major step forward for women. But the real change occurred when Mayer’s son, Nathan, took control of the Bank of England in 1810. It marked the beginning of international banking, and as more credit was made available to the masses, women started working for wages, and were thus gradually emancipated. Women had to wait until 1920 in order to get the right to vote, but when they did, it was a point of no return. Once the macho world was undermined, it was only a question of time before women could claim social equality. And when the pill was marketed in the 1960’s, it proved that they were indeed on the road to full emancipation.

But the post-war years, as far as female emancipation is concerned, was also a time when the proverbial dung hit the fan, for that’s when women opted to wear the badge of femininity instead of insisting on equality. They chose the worst remedy of all by concentrating their efforts on getting themselves an alpha male by means of seduction. But who can blame them for using that approach? After going through 3my of mistreatment, and especially 2ky of macho Christian doctrine, they were totally brainwashed into thinking they were inferior to men. So, they figured if they seduced and snagged an alpha male like they were genetically programmed to have, they could achieve emancipation through him. Unfortunately, they didn’t realize that the alpha male of the natural selection era no longer existed. They didn’t know that the men prancing around looking like male alphas were mainly interested in advancing their own personal agenda. And the fact that Hollywood was endorsing sexual relationships with virtual alphas as the ultimate form of social success, and the fact that sex was on everybody’s mind, was not meant to help. Understandably, it was only natural for the males to want to have sex as often as they could with the ‘loose’ women who adopted the bimbo look.

But it was also natural for the women to adopt the badge of femininity, for they wanted to look like the Hollywood stars and get themselves an alpha. However, they soon realized they weren’t getting the desired results and understood why. They discovered that aging was the problem, for when they reached menopause, males stopped wanting to have sex with them. Why didn’t men like mature partners like women did? They didn’t know that males are genetically polygamous and programmed to reproduce well past middle age, and that if the female is no longer able to reproduce, the male’s ANS no longer incites him to have sex with her. After suffering mistreatment at the hands of males for 3my, and being subjected to Christian macho doctrine for 2ky, she was now being hit with a third bolt of lightning, the genetic quirks of the male’s ANS.

Genetically, the females are not programmed to receive the male’s genes past menopause, and that’s an intolerable and unacceptable reality for them, for when they reach middle age, they still remember the pleasures of sex and are perhaps more disposed than ever to have sex. But, genetically, males don’t want to fornicate with post-menopausal females, and to make matters worse, intellectually, in the case of mature couples, they no longer feel the urge to conquer. Furthermore, because a monogamous Christian world has taught us to equate sex with love, when males cease to want to have sex with the females, the latter believe their mates don’t love them anymore. The irony of the situation is that just when this situation arises, it’s often the time when the male loves his partner more than he ever did.

Since she feels that it’s her fault for not being attractive enough, she doubles the coats of paint and mascara. Naturally, in doing so, the more clownish and vulgar looking she becomes, and the male is even more inclined to discard her. Discarding really means divorcing, and though women are the ones who often initiate divorce, the root cause is male genetic make-up. Here’s how it works. Presuming the couple has established a real relationship, they have a loving family, are more in love than ever, and are probably planning for when the kids leave the house. But the female is by now well into her forties, and that’s when genetics kick in. Intellectually, the husband may love his wife very much, but genetically he is less interested in having sex with her for reasons even he doesn’t understand. So, two things happen. On the one hand, since modern couples measure their worth against their libido, the wife feels unwanted, unattractive and unloved. On the other hand, she can’t help showing her displeasure, and the situation escalates to the point where it gives him an excuse to have sex with the young secretary who wears a cute badge of femininity, the one who has always shown interest in him. Divorce is almost sure to follow. If, in some cases, divorce happens sooner, it’s for other reasons, the main one being that the couple never established a real relationship in the first place.

How are women expected to deal with this genetic injustice? That is the question. If women completely discarded the badge of femininity, men and women, the women leading the way, would be more inclined to have genuine relationships based on trust, honesty and respect, instead of sex. But because we left the world of natural selection, because we live in a world of plenty, because we encourage our sex drive instead of curbing it, because we measure our worth against our libido, because we fornicate mainly for pleasure, because we are genetically polygamous and live by the rules of monogamy, we have become unnatural and stressed.

We have to get back to some form of equilibrium, and perhaps the only way to do that is to understand our ANS as explained in an earlier posting. If we choose to be monogamous and have a family, it must be for life. We don’t have to get married, for we have the wherewithal to have sex while avoiding pregnancy and disease, but if we do, it should be for the duration and for the purpose of having children. Loving and nurturing one’s children, and later, one’s grand-children, is the greatest human experience of all, but we have to make it happen, it’s not free. Forever wanting more, bigger and better stuff in order to feel important, and changing pseudo life partners on a whim is not the way to go. If we choose to be bonded with another, the strength gained in sharing makes us feel secure, gives us confidence and encourages us to do what we love to do. And as we age, the love and satisfaction generated within the family largely compensates for the times we choose to keep our sexual desire under control. Sex is not love. Sex has to do with our ANS while love has to do with our brain.

46-EMPOWERMENT

Hopefully, my blog has so far succeeded in convincing some readers that we live in the best of all possible worlds, that there will never be another world war, and that the final obstacle to globalization, the oil patch unrest, will soon become a figment of our collective memory. We have Mayer Amschel, the greatest man who ever lived, and that I call Big Brother, to thank for that. Yes, we are in safe hands and free to enjoy a great quality of life like at no other time in human history. This is true in spite of the fact that the Gorgon Sisters brandish the crop more than ever, in wanting to make us believe just the opposite in order to keep us in line. But if we believe that our world is financially controlled by Mayer’s dynasty in the City, we can be sure that it is the prime defender of its great creation, and consequently, leading stressful lives doesn’t make sense.

I’d like to suggest that if we lead stressful lives it’s because we’re overwhelmed by societal empowerment. Big Brother, a great family man, who was born in a ghetto in Frankfurt, in 1744, where he lived all his life in complete anonymity, most certainly didn’t foresee this outcome. One thing is certain, if we believed in the existence and achievements of that great man, we would know that his descendants in the City are hell bent on protecting the great world he created, and that knowledge would dissipate our stress.

Regardless, whether we believe in Big Brother or not, we can’t deny that in the last 100 years, humans have been seriously empowered as a specie. Democracy, or the world of credit as I call it, is the greatest gift mankind ever received, and it has proven to be the ultimate political system, particularly since the turn of the 20th century when it really got going. In making credit available to the lowest rungs of society, Mayer and his banking dynasty in the City have given mankind the means to know freedom, security, prosperity and leisure, beyond belief.

But democracy has turned out to be a double-edged sword. In the last hundred years, the fantastic societal empowerment that it provided mankind has almost completely supplanted personal empowerment. We have stopped appreciating our fundamental values by disconnecting from the natural world. We have become intoxicated with societal empowerment to the point where we ignore our true nature. We want a bigger salary, a bigger house, bigger car, and more of everything instead of wanting what makes us happy. Our disposition to want to show we’re important, young, rich, and beautiful has taken over our lives.

The world of credit as we know it today was created in 1810, in the City, but as far as we mere mortals are concerned, it only got going at the start of the 20th century. At that time, individual empowerment was still at a high. ‘Little house on the prairie’, ‘The Walton’s’, and other television series portrayed that successful family way of life. Bringing in a crop, raising healthy farm animals, feeding the family, and building a homestead for sheltering a family and welcoming friends and neighbours were fulfilling activities. Our ancestors worried at times, but it never constituted stress, that is, the permanent nebulous state of anxiety many of us experience today.

Societal empowerment started in 325 CE when the newly entrenched and official Roman state religion, the Christian religion, gained political control of the Western Roman Empire and invaded it like a hermit crab. Gradually, Rome’s anointed absolute kings of divine right ruled over Europe, forcing the Nicene Creed down everybody’s throat and committing mindboggling atrocities in the process. In spite of all that, common man was valorized and empowered for the first time. Christians were told they were created in the image of God and went to heaven if they obeyed the 10 Commandments. If they didn’t, they ended up in burning hell for eternity. It was up to them. Unfortunately, or more exactly, fortunately, because the Holy See and its Kings of Divine Right were so exclusive and cruel, they made two deadly enemies, the Jews and the Huguenots (French Protestants).

These two persecuted groups managed to join forces in Amsterdam in 1602 before moving to the City, in London, in 1688, where they established the world’s first democracy. At first, only merchants and privileged citizens voted and benefitted from the system, but in time, universal suffrage allowed everybody to participate. Today, in all the democracies of the world, the citizens elect representatives to vote in the laws, and if they obey those laws, they get a job and receive a salary, if not, they face unemployment or jail. Most people earn a salary, and that is what societal empowerment is all about. Everybody is empowered more or less in that way, from the President, the Queen and the Pope on down

Christianity and Democracy have always been romanticized, and most of us are unaware of the real forces that created them in 325 CE and 1689 CE respectively. That’s perhaps because many of us entertain a vague feeling of having been lied to, and we don’t trust history books. Or maybe it’s because we are constantly fed convoluted information that fails to address the money trail of history, and we have more important things to do anyway, like thumbing our smartphones.

No matter, if we accept the fact that intelligence is a consequence of our breaking the time barrier, and that the more we are able to connect past events with future ones, the more intelligent we are, we must conclude that we are going backwards. Letting our minds be overtaken by historical amnesia and forever demanding to be fed more misinformation junk by the Gorgon Sisters via our smartphones, instead of trying to understand how Christianity and Democracy were created, explains the stress we are presently experiencing.

Personal empowerment has to do with basic human values, whereas societal empowerment has to do with doing as the group does. While basic human values are those of all living things and are fulfilling, societal values are moral in nature and are simply meant to make the group function. The solution is to learn to live with the smartphone while giving top priority to our basic human values. However, since we’re not genetically programmed for a world of comfort and leisure, our archaic survival instincts of ‘fight or flight’ and ‘feed or breed’ still have a hold on us, and they can only be processed efficiently by our brain if we are aware of them and will them into submission.

When we were little burrowing animals, around 65 million years ago, we were constantly wary of the dangers in and around our burrow, and in the sky above it. We grabbed any food at hand, and reproduced using the wham-bam thank you ma’am method. We were constantly on the alert and permanently stressed. Today, we feel threatened by the real or perceived threats of the whole world, we grab junk food and fast food on the go, and we use the wham-bam thank you ma’am approach to sex more than ever. Are we going backwards?

All living beings on earth are beautiful and fulfilled when they are in a nurturing or creative mode, so that’s what we should strive for if we want to free ourselves of stress. Creating a lasting family group, and finding what we love to do and doing it for a living, should definitely be our main aspirations. In the last 100 years, Big Brother has created an environment that allows us to easily do just that, yet our primal instincts make us do the exact opposite, the too many divorces that produce hordes of emotionally crippled children and the ongoing battle for high-paying stressful jobs being sufficient proof.

All living beings on earth are beautiful and fulfilled when they are in a nurturing or creative mode, so that’s what we should strive for if we want to free ourselves of stress. Creating a lasting family group and finding what we love to do and doing it for a living, should definitely be our main aspirations. In the last 100 years, Big Brother has created an environment that allows us to easily do just that, yet our primal instincts make us do the exact opposite, the too many divorces that produce hordes of emotionally crippled children and the ongoing battle for high-paying stressful jobs being sufficient proof.

The 20th century has afforded us great freedoms and comforts, but that’s turned out not to be such a good thing because we are not genetically programmed for a world of leisure. Women are the most disadvantaged in the current context, and though they did carry out a sexual revolution in the latter part of the 20th century, it was far from being a real victory. No matter, male or female, if we learn to differentiate between self-empowerment exemplified by a Charles Ingalls and societal empowerment typified by a Donald Trump, and if we make the right life choice, all is not lost.

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