52-INTELLIGENCE, RELIGION, AND MENOPAUSE

3mya, when hominids became intelligent, it meant they had the ability to connect past experiences with the present and use that knowledge to plan future actions. Naturally, they were no longer subjected to the laws of natural selection. So, after millennia of sexual frustration, the lower order males were now able to devise ways to outsmart the alpha male in order to access the females and reproduce. Realizing that they could experience sexual pleasure without waiting for the females to be in estrus, the males started forcing themselves on the physically weaker gender at will. In time, the genetic pool deteriorated, and it proved to be a double catastrophe for the females, for the males now started to be selective as well.

The males, however, shouldn’t be blamed for this turn of events. Intelligence allowed them to follow a path of least resistance in order to give free expression to their sexual drive, and they simply took it. Like water and electricity, and other forces in the universe, humans are wired to take the path of least resistance, if given a chance. But in order for intelligent individuals to live in a group, there has to be rules and controls. In the natural selection environment of old, the male alpha used muscle in order to establish order, spread the best genes and ensure the survival of the group, but as hominids left that world, those controls slowly disappeared, and humans had to devise new ones. Around 5kya, they did just that by creating writing, reading, and religion.

Nonetheless, women kept being treated like cattle. They were used as field hands and baby machines, and they were sold and bought in sophisticated ways by means of a dowry or a bride price. If the fathers wanted to get rid of extra daughters, they paid a dowry, if a family wanted to achieve a higher social rank by associating with a higher-ranking family through marriage, it paid a bride price. Women had no say, they could be marketed at any age, and all that mattered was that they be a virgin. Of course, making sure the young girls were virgins meant they were even more mistreated at the hands of their fathers. On the other hand, if women learned to read and write, they were perceived as male threat, and the macho society would accuse them of witchcraft, burn them at the stake, or send them to rot in a convent.

It was only in 1600CE, when the world of credit took root in Amsterdam, that women could begin entertaining the possibility of emancipation. When the Sephardi and the Huguenots created the Dutch East India Company in Amsterdam, in 1600, they ruled the oceans of the world and wrenched world financial power away from the Vatican in the process. In 1689, they moved their headquarters to the City in London, and created the first democracy. Women did not yet vote and weren’t allowed to own property, but it was a start. When Mayer created his bank, the Bank of North America in 1781, it was another major step forward for women. But the real change occurred when Mayer’s son, Nathan, took control of the Bank of England in 1810. It marked the beginning of international banking, and as more credit was made available to the masses, women started working for wages, and were thus gradually emancipated. Women had to wait until 1920 in order to get the right to vote, but when they did, it was a point of no return. Once the macho world was undermined, it was only a question of time before women could claim social equality. And when the pill was marketed in the 1960’s, it proved that they were indeed on the road to full emancipation.

But the post-war years, as far as female emancipation is concerned, was also a time when the proverbial dung hit the fan, for that’s when women opted to wear the badge of femininity instead of insisting on equality. They chose the worst remedy of all by concentrating their efforts on getting themselves an alpha male by means of seduction. But who can blame them for using that approach? After going through 3my of mistreatment, and especially 2ky of macho Christian doctrine, they were totally brainwashed into thinking they were inferior to men. So, they figured if they seduced and snagged an alpha male like they were genetically programmed to have, they could achieve emancipation through him. Unfortunately, they didn’t realize that the alpha male of the natural selection era no longer existed. They didn’t know that the men prancing around looking like male alphas were mainly interested in advancing their own personal agenda. And the fact that Hollywood was endorsing sexual relationships with virtual alphas as the ultimate form of social success, and the fact that sex was on everybody’s mind, was not meant to help. Understandably, it was only natural for the males to want to have sex as often as they could with the ‘loose’ women who adopted the bimbo look.

But it was also natural for the women to adopt the badge of femininity, for they wanted to look like the Hollywood stars and get themselves an alpha. However, they soon realized they weren’t getting the desired results and understood why. They discovered that aging was the problem, for when they reached menopause, males stopped wanting to have sex with them. Why didn’t men like mature partners like women did? They didn’t know that males are genetically polygamous and programmed to reproduce well past middle age, and that if the female is no longer able to reproduce, the male’s ANS no longer incites him to have sex with her. After suffering mistreatment at the hands of males for 3my, and being subjected to Christian macho doctrine for 2ky, she was now being hit with a third bolt of lightning, the genetic quirks of the male’s ANS.

Genetically, the females are not programmed to receive the male’s genes past menopause, and that’s an intolerable and unacceptable reality for them, for when they reach middle age, they still remember the pleasures of sex and are perhaps more disposed than ever to have sex. But, genetically, males don’t want to fornicate with post-menopausal females, and to make matters worse, intellectually, in the case of mature couples, they no longer feel the urge to conquer. Furthermore, because a monogamous Christian world has taught us to equate sex with love, when males cease to want to have sex with the females, the latter believe their mates don’t love them anymore. The irony of the situation is that just when this situation arises, it’s often the time when the male loves his partner more than he ever did.

Since she feels that it’s her fault for not being attractive enough, she doubles the coats of paint and mascara. Naturally, in doing so, the more clownish and vulgar looking she becomes, and the male is even more inclined to discard her. Discarding really means divorcing, and though women are the ones who often initiate divorce, the root cause is male genetic make-up. Here’s how it works. Presuming the couple has established a real relationship, they have a loving family, are more in love than ever, and are probably planning for when the kids leave the house. But the female is by now well into her forties, and that’s when genetics kick in. Intellectually, the husband may love his wife very much, but genetically he is less interested in having sex with her for reasons even he doesn’t understand. So, two things happen. On the one hand, since modern couples measure their worth against their libido, the wife feels unwanted, unattractive and unloved. On the other hand, she can’t help showing her displeasure, and the situation escalates to the point where it gives him an excuse to have sex with the young secretary who wears a cute badge of femininity, the one who has always shown interest in him. Divorce is almost sure to follow. If, in some cases, divorce happens sooner, it’s for other reasons, the main one being that the couple never established a real relationship in the first place.

How are women expected to deal with this genetic injustice? That is the question. If women completely discarded the badge of femininity, men and women, the women leading the way, would be more inclined to have genuine relationships based on trust, honesty and respect, instead of sex. But because we left the world of natural selection, because we live in a world of plenty, because we encourage our sex drive instead of curbing it, because we measure our worth against our libido, because we fornicate mainly for pleasure, because we are genetically polygamous and live by the rules of monogamy, we have become unnatural and stressed.

We have to get back to some form of equilibrium, and perhaps the only way to do that is to understand our ANS as explained in an earlier posting. If we choose to be monogamous and have a family, it must be for life. We don’t have to get married, for we have the wherewithal to have sex while avoiding pregnancy and disease, but if we do, it should be for the duration and for the purpose of having children. Loving and nurturing one’s children, and later, one’s grand-children, is the greatest human experience of all, but we have to make it happen, it’s not free. Forever wanting more, bigger and better stuff in order to feel important, and changing pseudo life partners on a whim is not the way to go. If we choose to be bonded with another, the strength gained in sharing makes us feel secure, gives us confidence and encourages us to do what we love to do. And as we age, the love and satisfaction generated within the family largely compensates for the times we choose to keep our sexual desire under control. Sex is not love. Sex has to do with our ANS while love has to do with our brain.

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47-THE PILL

In early 20th century, people moved to the cities in tandem with the arrival of electricity, tap water, toilets and jobs. It was the beginning of tangible societal empowerment. In 1913, the bankers in the City created the US Federal Reserve Board, and it officially opened the door to globalization. The first item on the City’s agenda was the bulldozing of the Ancien Regime countries of the Holy Roman Empire in Europe, as well as Tsarist Russia, the Ottoman Empire, Japan and China. Although the two World Wars that followed created havoc in America, the result was mostly positive for the women who got good paying jobs. After WWII, because America was now considered to be an Eldorado, all the citizens of the world wanted to go to that great land in order to create wealth, and a lot was created in a very short period of time.

People experienced greater comforts and prospects, and as societal empowerment took root, it was the males who got the diplomas, the managerial responsibilities, and the investing and inventing opportunities. Males were cast in the ‘father knows best’ role, and that didn’t augur well for the females. Although some women got jobs, they were of the office secretarial staff and factory production line variety. The parents wanted their sons to have a good education, get a good job, make good money, and marry a good woman, while for the daughters, it sufficed to get a good man, a ‘somebody’. The world continued to be very macho because women’s ambitions were geared to that of their men.

However, in 1920, after the passing of the 19th amendment, women got the right to vote, own property, and manage their bank account without their husband’s permission. After WWII, there was a move to the suburbs and the good life, and that’s when the real trouble started. It was the beginning of a world of comfort, leisure and plenty, a world for which our specie is absolutely not genetically programmed. The desperate housewife was being born.

The women had to wait for the 1960’s and the advent of the pill in order to be emancipated in a real sense. That’s when they were freed from male sexual domination and abuse, at least in part. For the first time in 3 million years they could claim that they were in charge of their own body, and free to decide whether to have children or not. But though the females did gain some sexual freedom, social parity remained very much out of reach.

Genetically, women are programmed to get the best male with the best genes, as dictated by natural selection. But when we left the world of natural selection some three million years ago, though our genetic make-up remained unchanged, the relationship between males and females took an abrupt turn for the worse. So, at the first opportunity, that is, in the 20th century, women unwittingly attempted to go back to the good old natural selection days when they were the ones who more or less ran things. But unfortunately, instead of consciously trying to reclaim their social role of old, they decided to make themselves more attractive and concentrate their energies on getting themselves a potential male alpha. They didn’t know at the time that fighting for emancipation by attracting pseudo alpha males with their badge of femininity would not only be a missed opportunity, but a disastrous social experiment as well.

The male entrepreneurs were quick to exploit that sexual aberration by taking charge of the fashion world generally, like they had Hollywood years before. The badge of femininity, as a symbol of independence and success, was adopted with a vengeance when technicolor hit the big screen in 1936, and especially the small screen in 1966. As they did so, the women naturally morphed into Barbies, and it made many heterosexual and homosexual males of the fashion and cosmetic world very rich. In wearing her mask, the female couldn’t hope to find a partner who was her equal and a job worthy of her potential, and she was an easy prey for any lame alpha male who came along. Establishing a meaningful relationship was almost an impossibility. She certainly wasn’t aware that wearing the badge in order to get a man or a job was not only ugly and vulgar, but counterproductive as well. To be fair, the pill had hit the market like a tsunami, and overwhelmed, women had responded instinctively by looking for an alpha male like they had always had in the world of natural selection millions of years before. Unfortunately, they weren’t aware that wearing the badge was putting a damper on their chances for gaining independence and parity.

It now seems obvious that if women are to achieve social equality and parity, they must discard the badge of femininity as an absolute prerequisite. They have to fight tooth and nail for equal education and equal jobs for equal pay, and getting free universal child care and parental leave, and having access to pro-choice clinics, are all a must. Women would be well advised to stop making their quest for alpha males a priority, for ever since we left the world of natural selection, the alpha males simply no longer exist. The alpha male of old was objective in his role and was concerned with the welfare of the group, whereas today, the perceived alpha male only wants to feed his ego. The female should look for an ordinary loving man like her in order to build and share the joys of a family and life in general, instead of looking for a virtual Adonis.

In our intelligent world, the secret is to find a partner with whom we can establish a lifelong relationship based on trust, honesty, and respect. And if equality and parity are to be achieved, women have to stop using sexuality as a tool, and throw their badge of femininity in the trash can. It can be done. If Marlboro Man, the macho man, was dethroned years back, surely Barbie, the bimbo, can be as well today.