66-RACISM IS NATURAL

 

Racism is natural and even fundamental to all living things. The expression natural selection says it all. All species have always worked hard in order to survive, and they did that by specializing. Over time, as the species honed their survival skills, they avoided, repelled and even destroyed anything that interfered with their existence, anything that was different. In their drive towards uniformity, the species were intolerant to outsiders. That is still true of all living things on earth today except human beings, for when we became intelligent, we left the world of natural selection.

3 million years ago, we still strove to maintain our survival skills, and we were 100% racist. But as we gradually became intelligent and left the world of natural selection, racism or selectivity was no longer indispensable as a survival tool. And as lower order males outwitted the alpha male in order to enjoy the rapture of reproducing, the human genetic pool deteriorated. As a result, we had to get used to living with family, friends and mates who weren’t the strongest, the bravest, the tallest, the smartest, and who were not always beautiful or well constituted. In other words, we started realizing that intelligence could compensate for certain lacks, and we became less racist. The Bill Gates’ and the Woody Allen’s of our specie are today alphas in their own right. Brute force is no longer the driving force that ensures success. We see ever more examples of this gradual change, and it augurs well for our specie.

But racism remains very much present among humans. As recently as 325 CE, Christianity started using racism in a very sophisticated way. Anyone who didn’t accept the Nicene Creed that stated that Apollonius cum Christ was the son of God and not a prophet, were excluded from the Kingdom of God, and therefore were considered less than human. Millions were massacred until all of Europe accepted the Nicene Creed.

When the children of God from Europe went to America, it was a repeat. All the animists who were already there were considered less than human because they didn’t believe in God, and because they couldn’t read and write, the Europeans didn’t hesitate to steal their lands by having them sign agreements with an X or by giving them rifles and pots and pans in compensation. And worse, after the white Christians grabbed their land, the slave trade supplied a steady supply of negro labor to work the very lands stolen from the American animists. That was all done with the blessing of the Christian church, and that was extreme racism.

We’ve had 1800 years of this children of God nonsense hammered into us, and that’s not easy to erase. We still choose to celebrate the birth of a fabricated Christ instead of a very real Sol Invictus on the 25th of December, so we have a long way to go. Maybe someday the extraordinary story of Stonehenge will help us turn the clock back and infuse some sense of reality into our lives.

However, we do have globalization. Globalization as a financial concept was elaborated by Mayer Amschel Rothschild in 1763 when he sent Haym Salomon to the American Colonies in order to start a bills of exchange counter. He instilled confidence in the paper he emitted, and he was so successful that the offspring of his notes, the US dollar, is today very much alive and accepted in the remotest corners of our planet. It was a concept, when translated in social terms, meant to save humanity. Today, for instance, because Mayer’s dynasty controls world finance out of the City using the dollar as the official reserve currency in all the central banks of the world, there will never be another world war. Because it encourages immigration out of the Middle East and Africa, the gene pool in Europe and America is being regenerated. And because most immigrants are of the Muslim faith, that religion will become more accepted by Christians and religion in general will become less of a tool for stoking unrest. Furthermore, because most new immigrants have black or swarthy complexions, non-whites are becoming part of our social fabric, and in time, will be perfectly integrated. So, if globalization regenerates the gene pool and ensures global peace while combating racism based on color and religion, why are so many people against it?

The answer is that people don’t understand how the world of credit was created, and they are led to believe that bankers are crooks. Needless to say, I would dearly love to change that. We have a relatively level playing field, and although there is still a lack of parity between men and women, we should take advantage of what we do have, and try to improve upon it. Hating bankers or people with different skin color is based on blind ignorance and is totally counterproductive. Understanding why one bullies homosexuals, women, children and people of different color, how the world of credit was created, how we are driven by our libido, is something we can all achieve, and if we did, we would realize that we live in the best of all possible worlds and we would be better prepared to take advantage of it. Why O.D on ignorance?

 

 

64-HIGH SCHOOL JUNGLE

 

As a child, getting intimately connected to one’s parents is a beautiful thing that lasts a lifetime. When official education begins in grade school, it is also a wonderful experience, for children are surrounded by nurturing teachers who gently teach them reading, writing, arithmetic and socializing. Later, if he’s lucky, the teen will not go to a middle school, but rather straight from grade school to high school. School becomes a jungle when students become teens, for that is when their libido kicks in, and it starts in middle school. If middle school is integrated into the grade school, then the same nurturing and caring atmosphere will likely reign until they go to high school. When all is said and done, high school is the best training grounds for those who still live by the laws of ‘survival of the fittest’, the bullies.

In high school, that’s when the smelly stuff hits the proverbial fan. Because the teens are now more interested in knowing where they stand with regards to their peer group than listening to the wise counsel of parents and teachers, the nurturing mode goes out the window. It could be said that the students are now on their own in a virtual jungle. The school is ruled by a student dictatorship composed of dorks who surround themselves with molls and goons that sit in the school hallways at lunchtime. This ruling class treat students involved in creative activities, be it shops, music, art, or computer science as lowly nerds, or worse. The goons and molls are mean and nasty and outdo themselves to be well perceived by the dorks. If good girls want to be accepted, they may have to do demeaning sexual acts such as fellatio on the dorks, and the molls are often the enforcers. As for the homosexuals, they are bullied in despicable ways, and everybody lives by the law of omerta. If one knows how high schools tick, one can understand why there are so many suicides and shootings during those ‘learning’ years.

The question then is how does this come about. A good answer would be to say that it’s because children are entering the world of libido and the defunct yet persisting world of survival of the fittest while at the same time leaving their parents’ direct influence. Survival of the fittest and natural selection no longer apply to the human race, but students are bent on living by those very laws. The teens are simply getting ready for the consumer world facing them. The tragedy is that they’re motivated to live by the archaic laws of ‘survival of the fittest’ to the detriment of the values that make all humans happy, because that’s what society tells them to do. They want to be perceived as alphas, in a world where altruistic alphas have long ceased to exist, instead of trying to identify what they really love to do and learning how to establish meaningful relationships. In the wild, the alpha was absolutely indispensable to the survival of the group, but humans have become intelligent, and now live in a world of credit. The genuine altruistic alphas have gone the way of the dinosaurs. Those who still try to be alphas are selfish bullies and are harmful to the group.

High schools are baby-sitting institutions ruled by wannabe pseudo alphas, and that excludes the teaching staff. We could ask, at this point, how dorks become dorks or how hierarchy is established. Well, it has to do with their dong. When boys grow up, they want to know how their wee-wee compares to others. They have all kinds of games and tricks in order to accomplish this. At first, they may have long distance peeing contests, and later, even ejaculating contests, and all this with one thing in mind, how big is my dork compared to the others, or how much of a man am I. As boys get older, the ones with the small dongs know better than to become athletes that have to use the communal showers. They especially don’t want to give a moll, a dork groupie, the opportunity to humiliate them as a male, and that limits their social ambitions. Hierarchy is established just like in the animal kingdom at large. It has to do mainly with strength and size, and if a dork happens to be tall, good-looking and smart and belongs to an ‘important’ family, there’s no telling how far he will go on the road to becoming a pseudo-alpha, or a full blown out bully.

Bullying is normal and genetically sound, for all males in the animal kingdom try to become alphas in that very way. It’s necessary for the survival of each specie because alphas spread the best genes and protect the group. Individuals of a group will force any outsider, who is in the slightest different from them, out of the group. Bullying and exclusion are still very much part of our genetic make-up, but these genetic tendencies must remain latent in the global village of intelligent humans. Though we will always have those genetic tendencies, because we are intelligent, and especially because we have been living in this wonderful world of credit for more than 100 years, a growing number of citizens realize they do more harm than good. More to the point, they no longer contribute to the welfare of society in any way and are harmful to individuals.

If we are to counter these genetic tendencies, we can only do it through education. However, we first have to face the fact that we are 100% animal of the ape family, and admit we have those archaic genetic tendencies. Like in an AA meeting, individuals can only fight their addiction if they first admit they’re addicted. Since most religious groups refuse to face up to the fact that we’re apes, and since our societies are morally guided by those groups, it seems like an impossible task. Some well-meaning and caring individuals use band-aid approaches by pushing for stronger legal deterrents against bullying, but nothing can be done until schools start teaching Darwinism instead of creationism as a starter.

Not only do we have those ‘survival of the fittest’ tendencies in all of us, but modern parents are the ones who are responsible for the proliferation of bullies. Insensitive parenting and unpredictable or negligent care, over-praising and excessive pampering where parents focus intensely on a particular talent or physical trait of their child as a result of their own self-esteem issues, wreaking criticism and abuse that leads to trauma, and later, having extremely high expectations, are sure ways to create a misfit who suffers from a narcissistic personality disorder, or worse, who wants to hit back.

We can wean ourselves off the ‘survival of the fittest’ syndrome by undergoing an educational process based on apprenticeships. The American kick-ass system and the English queenie system have to be reset. Chances are, if one helps his child accept his animal origins and discover his genuine talents, the child will cope very nicely, knowing he is heading for a lifetime of fulfillment. Getting the most prestigious diploma in the most prestigious institution at all cost is not the path to follow, discovering what you love doing and honing your natural talents, that may or may not require diplomas, is. If one does what he loves doing for a living, he will never work a day in his life, and by the same token, will diffuse well-being, fulfillment and happiness all around him. Being nurturing and creative are what makes humans beautiful.

 

63-THE WALL

We have seen how two teens, each brought up in an intimate family environment, established a serious relationship that led to a great marriage, a great family and fabulous life occupations. Even if one is lucky enough to be in such an enviable position, like them, that person will still have to face the wall, for nobody is spared.

Genetically, females are not programmed to receive the male’s sperm past menopause, a reality that is often ignored. Even if some men, whether for reasons of nostalgia, domination, money, deprivation or perversion, occasionally ignore this imposition by having sex with post-menopausal women, the fact remains that when the female runs out of ovarian follicles she can no longer reproduce, and when this happens, males, who have a longer reproductive life, genetically stop desiring her sexually and want to have sex with a female who can reproducen. It’s a great injustice done to women by Mother Nature, for when women reach menopause, they stop sending the magical pheromone signals to their partner. Notwithstanding the fact that humans have practically lost their sense of smell since becoming intelligent millions of years ago, and that perfumes and synthetic products of all kinds tend to block them, pheromones are what triggers sexual arousal. They are mysterious agents that are not well understood by science, but be they visual, tactile or gustatory, pheromones are associated with sexual arousal, and when these misunderstood messengers stop triggering the partner’s hypothalamus, the latter is no longer sexually stimulated by the sender. Although very little is known about the interaction of pheromones between partners, they exist in the entire animal kingdom.

As a further injustice to women, for the last two thousand years, Christianity has taught us to equate sex with love. So, when the mature husband ceases to want to have sex with his mature wife, the latter believes her mate doesn’t love her anymore. The irony is that just when this situation arises, it’s often the time when males love their partners most. However, this usually means the end of a relationship unless it’s understood and dealt with.

Since the wife feels that it’s her fault for not being attractive enough, the female doubles the coats of paint and flaunts her badge of femininity with greater determination. Naturally, in doing so, the more clownish and vulgar looking she becomes, and the male is less and less apt to be aroused by her. Though women are the ones who often initiate divorce, the root cause is male genetic make-up. The husband may love his wife dearly, but genetically, he is less interested in having sex with her for reasons even he doesn’t understand. At this point, they seem hell bent on destroying their lifetime emotional investment, and two things happen. On the one hand, since modern couples measure their worth against their libido, the wife feels unwanted, unattractive and unloved, and on the other, she can’t help showing her displeasure. The situation escalates to the point where it gives the husband an excuse to have sex with the young secretary wearing the cute badge of femininity, the one who has always shown interest in him. Divorce is almost sure to follow. If, in some cases, divorce happens sooner, it’s for other reasons, the main one being that the couple never established a real relationship in the first place.

Barely 100 years ago, we left the world of self-empowerment for that of societal empowerment, and that turned out to be a disaster. Although the consumer world that followed was the greatest one that we could possibly imagine, it made us disconnect from the natural world. The world of leisure we found ourselves in was extremely attractive, but it soon became obvious that our specie is not genetically programmed for such a world. Naturally, with more time on our hands, our faky (virtual) and lusty (sexual) dispositions as human animals were exploited to the fullest, and paradoxically, individuals started running on empty in a world of plenty.

A lusty faky approach to life just can’t make us happy. And because our libido in all its disguises is driving our lives, and since relationships based on trust, emotional honesty and commitment have fallen by the wayside, we are forced into a corner. If we want to have a fulfilled life, we have to decide between instant gratification or lasting relationships. It’s really about lust or trust, yet today, when people get married, the first thing they do is sign a prenuptial agreement. Does that mean that they’re already thinking of divorce? Go figure!

Few people have been taught to live in intimacy, a key ingredient in a trusting and fulfilling relationship hopefully learned in early childhood. If we are not in the privileged position of knowing intimacy, then we must start off with trust instead of lust, and we need outside help. Matchmaking, a solution that is completely taboo in our societal empowerment world, would be the most obvious path to follow. Hassidic Jews are very good at matchmaking and we should learn from them. However, it’s not an easy thing to do, for in our consumer society most matchmaking venues try to match up the faky and lusty aspects of our nature in order to make easy money. So, if an emotionally honest person has enough fortitude to choose the taboo solution of matchmaking, he or she has a further task of finding a matchmaker whose prime concern is creating a successful emotional partnership.

A genuine matchmaker will stress above all the need to create a partnership. While he may take physical attraction into consideration, he will certainly not delve on lust. If he succeeds in combining all the qualities of one individual necessary to enhance the strengths and counter the weaknesses of the other, the matchmaker will have done a great job. If complete trust and honesty is mutually achieved, romance and love is almost sure to follow, in spite of the fact that becoming trusting and emotionally connected for the first time in one’s life is an almost impossible thing to do. No matter, matchmaking would be a serious option for achieving happiness if society did not berate it so.

Nonetheless, whether in the case of the ideal couple mentioned earlier, where they started with the lust option with the full support of the four parents, whether in the case of those who are not supported by family or those who want to establish a genuine partnership through the matchmaking process, all couples have to eventually face the wall mentioned earlier. Sexual attraction lasts only a short while, but love lasts a lifetime, and a couple will be able to go from sex mode to love mode and circumvent the wall only if their marriage is built on the basis of a strong partnership.

For two thousand years, Christianity has taught us that sex and love are one and the same, or at least should be, and that line of thinking has to be thrashed. We have even adopted the phrases ‘to fall in love’ when we’re horny, and ‘making love’ when we fornicate. Why can’t we simply ‘love’? Things are definitely askew when it comes to sex. If a couple wants a shot at the brass ring, it has to establish real intimacy in a real relationship right from the beginning, have children that they both treat as the most important life asset they have, stop using the words sex and love interchangeably, and be fully aware that they will have to face the wall.

At the beginning of most marriages, the husband can’t possibly imagine that

he will one day not want to have sex with his wife, yet it is a certainty. It may be construed as a negative thing to do, and it may be very hard, but they should talk about that matter in the early stages of their marriage, even if it’s just in jest.

In a nutshell, the ideal couple mentioned earlier has been intimately connected since forever, they have had a sex life that would put Bonobos to shame, they have two adorable children that are following in their footsteps, they are very successful and fulfilled in what they do for a living, and they love each other. However, though he will want to hug her and caress her when she reaches menopause, he will no longer wants to have sex with her. So, what to do?

If they both are convinced that sex is not love, the menopausal wife may feel relieved that she doesn’t have to pretend any more. Nonetheless, the husband’s testosterone keeps pumping, and he doesn’t know how to get rid of his wad. At this stage, it’s mainly about what to do with the husband’s libido, for the wife’s libido is no longer a factor although social pressure may tell her otherwise. Because the group tells us we’re nonentities if we’re not sexually active, both tend to pretend they are. Nonetheless, a smart couple seeking happiness and fulfillment will want to take full measure of the wall hurdle and overcome it. But they not only have social pressure to overcome, they also have the fond memories of their sexual deeds of yesteryears to deal with. When all is said and done, they have to be very strong to come to the conclusion that their sex life has come to an end and that family is what is most important. If they are, they then can talk frankly about what to do with their libido, especially the husband’s

At this point in the relationship, both parties must accept the fact that they are facing the wall and agree it’s a genetic, not a personal, thing. The couple must zero in on that problem and find ways on how the husband can relieve himself sexually in order to save the family. The husband can masturbate, go to a brothel, take on a mistress, have a live-in young concubine, or rent a bachelor pad where he keeps a sexbot, but these solutions are far from ideal. If he has a fatberg between the ears, he might even try to seduce his daughter or her girl friend who lives next door, rape his babysitter or co-worker, but these criminal alternatives are not what a sane mature man would want to do. When a man ceases to want to have sex with his wife and is continually turned on by younger women, it just means he is being ruled by his ANS. If he knows that’s the case, and if he loves his wife, he’s in a real bind. The more stupid men, often spurred on by their wives, will even take Viagra in order to re-establish a sexual relationship with the wife, which is a perfectly insane thing to do. It’s like an obese person doing everything it can to stimulate hunger. If the couple really knows what is happening to their libido, they should be thinking of diminishing not increasing the husband’s libido.

If the man didn’t let his libido define him as a person, and if he didn’t entertain the idea of having children in the future, orchiectomy would definitely be a serious option. At menopause, many wives no longer want to be bothered with sex anyway, unless they’re tuned in to the ‘desperate housewives’ thing, so why should the husband not stop his production of sperm? The sad part is that both the husband and the wife think that a man is no longer a man if he gets an orchiectomy. Nonetheless, if he is a psychologically well-constructed male, and has had a healthy sex life and built a loving family, he definitely doesn’t want to destroy his assets by seeking action left and right, by divorcing, or worse, by committing a crime. So, the best thing to do is to get rid of his urge to reproduce. Getting an orchiectomy to reduce libido could be compared to an obese person getting gastric bypass surgery in order to lose weight.

Orchiectomy is a banal outpatient operation. There is no physical deformation if saline implants are used to replace the gonads, and the operation is relatively side-effect free. If the husband loves his wife and family, and maintains a healthy diet while keeping fit, he will be as fulfilled as can be. The only thing he may require, if it comes down to that, is wear a hormone patch to compensate for the loss of testosterone. This operation is not meant for those with a poor self-image or a fragile ego, for it goes against the whole post-sapiens human culture that says one is not a man if one doesn’t screw.

61-FORCED TO MAKE BABIES

 

Children must start out knowing that they are 100% animal of the ape family and that they are completely controlled by their ANS like all living things. They may have already been taught to deal with certain impositions of the ANS, like eating and drinking with utensils, defecating and urinating in a toilet, but a successful human being must know intimacy as a child and he must also learn how he will be forced to make babies. He should be taught how his libido will develop as soon as it’s feasible to do so.

Sex education can start at an early age by explaining how the apple blossom becomes an apple and how its seed becomes a tree. We start by saying that each blossom or flower has two sex organs, one male and one female. When mature, the female organ produces an ovule and the male organ produces sperm called pollen. When a bee or some other insect comes along to drink the nectar found in the flower cup, pollen gets stuck to its legs. As the bee goes from flower to flower the sticky sperm gets stuck on the female organ of another flower. The sperm then grows a shoot downward to the ovule, and once joined, the sperm and the ovule develop into a seed. The apple that we eat is the food that surrounds the seed and is necessary for its development if and when the apple falls to the ground. The food gives the seed enough time to develop and root and thus become a new apple tree.

Animals make babies as well, and we can tell our child how salmon do it. When the young salmon are strong enough, they leave the river where they were born and head for the ocean. They spend years travelling long distances in the oceans of the world. When they are fully mature they return to their river of origin to spawn. It’s a life and death battle as they spend all their energy swimming up river against strong currents in order to find the right spot for reproducing. The female then builds a gravel nest on the river bottom in which she deposits thousands of eggs or ovules. Her mate then releases huge quantities of sperm over the nest. When a sperm reaches an ovule, it penetrates it and the egg is fertilized. Many weeks later, a baby salmon, called a fry, hatches. When the young salmon are big and strong enough, they head out to the ocean and start the process all over again.

In the meantime, parents should take their children to zoos and animal farms as often as possible. The more familiar they become with the baby animals running around, and perhaps with the males mounting the females, the more questions they’ll ask. After many visits to the said areas, and seeing many appropriately selected films on the matter, it is then relatively easy to explain how the male sperm gets to the female ovule in bigger animals. They already know how that happens with flowers and salmon, and going one step further is a no brainer.

So, when the dreaded question is asked, when the child asks the parents if they did it too, they’ll be ready. A wise parent may want to deflect the question by talking about what happens to the child’s body as he enters puberty. The child will be told in a nonsense manner that his body will soon be transformed as it gets ready to reproduce and he should be told what to expect. He may already be aware that something is happening to his body. No matter, it’s a good time to tell him that signs of maturity for the girl are the development of breasts, hips and pubic hair, while for the boy, it’s facial hair, pubic hair, muscle and a deep voice. Then he has to be told about his ANS and the urges he or she will experience, like wanting to touch the person of the other sex, innocent urges that society mistakenly calls puppy love, but that can easily turn into a horrific life experience if not handled properly.

He is aware that his ANS has total control over him, and knows the role the hypothalamus plays. The hypothalamus is a tiny primitive brain that sits on top of the spinal chord and forces living beings to breathe, eat, drink, urinate, defecate and reproduce, just to name a few of the vital functions that don’t depend on one’s will. When it awakens to sexual stimuli, the hypothalamus sends hormones (a chemical message) to the pituitary gland telling it to produce the appropriate hormones which are then sent on to the concerned reproductive organs. The child will be told that in a very short while, his body will have to deal with this sex stimulus. When this happens, the boy will get an erection and the girl will feel tingling as the clitoris and labia become engorged. The sensations are pleasant but uncomfortable. The girl who is looking at the cute boy with the angel curls or the boy who is looking at the bumps on a girl’s t-shirt can go crazy thinking about it as more and more sex hormones are sent from the hypothalamus to the erotic areas of the body.

The ANS forces override our will. When we’re hungry we have no choice but to grab something to eat, and the same goes when we’re thirsty. But what are we to do when we’re sexually aroused? We can go for a long run or take a cold shower in order to take our mind off it, or we might want to masturbate. Wise parents will already have told their children that self-stimulation not only relieves tension but gives pleasure, and that it’s a perfectly safe and healthy thing to do as long as relieving tension is the main goal. After all, the body is not a toy. Again, there is much information on the subject on the net, and parents should encourage them to seek out the information that is of interest to them and be readily available to answer their questions. They should especially insist on the fact that masturbation is not a demeaning act, while at the same time teach them about their main erotic zones, the frenulum and the clitoris.

At this time, the child might be curious about what their parents did when they were their age and how they met. The best way for the parents to answer is to say that they went through exactly what he’ll soon be going through, and that they did what their parents did before them, because that’s what healthy humans do. They must talk openly about it, for letting him act out of ignorance when his time comes can only lead to his feeling bad about his behavior, or worse. If parents have established an intimate relationship with the child, they should find it easy to tell him or her how mom and dad met, how they became lovers, and when they decided to have the beautiful child that’s before them. The child can only find such a story beautiful and admire his parents all the more for having the courage to tell it.

59-THE IDEAL COUPLE

With regards to the hypothetical couple that I’ve chosen, both partners are eighteen years of age and heterosexual. They have been having regular sex for two years with both their parents’ approval, and they are both intent on avoiding disease and pregnancy. She has an LARC arm implant, and they can’t get enough of each other, so for now, fidelity and pregnancy are not a problem. They both agree to be answerable to all four parents who support them unconditionally, and this fosters mutual affection and trust.

They share thoughts and feelings concerning their parents, siblings, teachers, friends and pets, and talk about everything under the sun. They are aware they are living in the best of all possible worlds. They know they are 100% animals of the ape family and that their branch became intelligent some three million years ago. As intelligent animals, they realize they have the possibility of exercising some control over their autonomic nervous system. By curbing the disruptive forces of their ANS, mainly with regards to reproduction, they realize they can look forward to a lifelong relationship in a happy family context.

They are aware that all beings are beautiful and fulfilled when in a nurturing or creative mode, and that’s why they both want to form a lifelong family team and do what they love doing for a living. They have just finished high school, but do not plan to go to college until they are absolutely sure of what they want to do for a living. For now, he wants to become an architect. He has been working summers for a local building contractor and the latter has agreed to employ him full time. His passion is to conceive and eventually build self-sustaining buildings. She is very interested in animals and wants to be a veterinarian. After working summers at a local zoo, she has been offered an assistant’s position fulltime. Her passion is living with plants and animals and learning how to take care of them. They have rented a modest house on the outskirts of the city in order to have the full experience of living together. They want the responsibilities of looking after a house, having a garden and pets, and doing daily chores. His father gave them his car when he upgraded to a hybrid, and that takes care of transportation. They are committed to living together three years and will not marry or have kids till the end of that period, if they so decide. If one of them changes his or her mind during the trial period, they will go their separate ways, no matter how painful. All four parents are partners to this agreement and will support them in any way they can.

As they go about working in the real world as apprentices, they will pay for their own living expenses. As for college tuition, their parents have already planned ahead by creating a fund for that very purpose. In the meantime, they will glean all the knowledge they possibly can from their coworkers and sign up for all pertinent online university courses while waiting to physically register at a university in order to terminate their degrees and pursue their life’s passion.

They are active teens who jog and swim on a regular basis and have no intention of stopping. They each have a smartphone but use them strictly for meaningful communication. Like her mother, she refuses to wear the badge of femininity, no matter how great the social pressures. But of course, she doesn’t intend giving up on bizarre hairdos, fun clothing, and junky jewellery. They intend to cut the cable and stick to reading, watching movies and making and listening to music. Inviting friends over for simple home prepared meals made with natural ingredients will be a lot of fun. His father already makes his own wine, and he plans to team up with him, for making wine with his dad will be a nice way for them to bond. Enjoying the odd glass of wine with his wife-to-be and friends over home-cooked meals will also make for heart-warming experiences.

Accumulating wealth will never be their main objective. However, because they live in a world where it’s rather easy to make money, it’s not to be dismissed out of hand. Real estate values tend to rise, so owning one’s own home is a starting point. As for making real money, the couple will sit down and decide which multinational they want working for them. They’ll choose one that makes things they personally believe in and that are indispensable to the human race, like food, transport, communication, biotechnology and energy. Once they’re convinced they have the right company, they’ll buy shares in it every time they have spare money. Buying shares via the internet is a rather cheap and easy way to go about doing just that. Once the shares are bought, they’ll forget about them. They’ll never play the market. Their capital will grow as the world markets grow, and by adding to their capital little by little, down the road, they’ll have more than enough for their children’s education and their own retirement. If they adopt a healthy lifestyle, are passionate about their work, own their own home, and invest their extra cash in their chosen multinationals, they’ll have done away with most material obstacles that usually prove disastrous to young married couples, and thus be free to have and raise children. However, the greatest destructive force that they’ll have to face in their relationship is still lurking in the wings.

This young couple has seriously reflected on the problem where males are genetically programmed to reproduce well into old age while females cease to reproduce at menopause. They know that when she reaches menopause, he will no longer be sexually aroused by her. Since his ANS will continue to incite him to reproduce, and since he will be looking at younger women, they must get ready to counter this eventual pitfall. When a couple reaches that stage, it’s what I call hitting the WALL.

Fortunately, they know that human means intelligent, and that they have some say in complying with their ANS. For instance, if one is hungry, one can have an apple or a processed meat sandwich, and if one is thirsty, one can have a glass of water or a can of pop laced with sugar. The individual has no choice but to quench his thirst or satiate his hunger, but because he’s intelligent, he can choose how to do it, and with what. In a similar manner, they can control their libido to some degree, and that’s the secret to countering the potential destructive forces of the ANS.

They know they are animals that became intelligent when hominids broke the time barrier some three million years ago. They know that being intelligent means they can connect past experiences with the present and use that knowledge to make a better future. They know that sex is not love. Sex is forced upon them by their ANS in order to reproduce, whereas love is the result of intimacy and sharing. All beings are forced to have sex, regardless of specie, therefore, when the couple’s sex life is on the wane and his ANS incites him to look at younger women, they’ll both know what’s happening and he will categorically refuse to take Viagra or give in to his ANS. They are fortunate to be intimate with each other, both intellectually and physically, so when they hit the WALL, having always refused to let their libido define them as humans, she may even be able to poke fun at him when he starts looking sideways at younger women.

Their love will grow as their family grows, and not much self-control will be needed to resist having sex with a stranger. Why would he knowingly risk losing the warmth and joy that a loving family provides and that took years to build, for the pleasure of having sashimi served by a young geisha? One thing is certain, as their mutual affection grows, and as they go gaga over their grandchildren, they’ll both know that destroying their family life for a furtive romp in the sack with another is totally insane. Love will win over sex, especially if they are fully aware of the pressures that the ANS is putting on them, and they are.

If they’re really lucky, they’ll discover that one of the most beautiful things in the world, is growing old gracefully. An older woman sitting at her computer writing her book, nursing an animal back to health in her veterinarian clinic, or giving TLC to the plants in her garden, are beautiful sights to behold. And what about an older man teaching his grandson how to build a tree house, or his granddaughter how to play violin! What’s so bad about growing old? Does the woman have to become a wrinkled Barbie, or the man a ridiculous Casanova?

 

 

58-THE ART OF INTIMACY

 

Meaningful rewarding relationships, whether sex is involved or not, are impossible unless one learns to be intimate. I choose to replace the word love with intimacy because love is used in all sorts of concoctions, like in ‘making love’, a totally absurd expression. Though sexual attraction can morph into love over time, sex is not love. Sex lasts an instant, sexual attraction can last a few years, but love like the one felt for a parent lasts a lifetime.

Intimacy is the cornerstone of our happiness, for if we don’t learn how to be intimate as a child, we are condemned to having lame relationships throughout our whole life. Intimacy requires the ability to open and commit, that is, to trust to the point of being vulnerable, and that’s not the easiest thing to do. It requires suspending control, while merging emotionally. We have an innate need to experience physical and emotional closeness with another human being in order to grow emotionally, and that need for connection is with us from the day we’re born. If we are to have a chance at a fulfilling life, we have to be taught to connect at that time.

Historically, tribes were a critical part of our human experience, for we needed the group in order to survive. If one was banished from his tribe that was as good as a death sentence. In the global village, that is no longer the case, but if a child does not experience intimacy, it’s akin to being banished from the whole world, for establishing meaningful future relationships will be impossible. From day one, the child must be treated as a full member of the family team, he must be shown intimacy, valorized and supported on an ongoing basis, or else he will spend his whole life unconnected in a great but sad virtual world. The secret to a good life is to belong to a family where children are intimately connected to parents and siblings, which in turn allows the child to later repeat the process when he starts his own family.

The following is a summary of what the American Psychological Association says on how parents can connect with their children. ‘Parents must be available for their children at bedtime, before dinner, and in the car, in order to let them know they care about what’s happening in their lives. Conversations should be started when they feel the need to share thoughts and feelings that affect both parties. Parents have to make sure they let their kids know they’re listening by stopping whatever they’re doing. They should respect their privacy by treating matters one on one. They should express interest in what the child is saying without being intrusive. Letting them complete their point before responding and repeating to make sure they know that the parent understands them correctly is highly recommended. Parents should soften strong reactions; kids will tune them out if they appear angry or defensive. Parents should express their opinion without putting down theirs, while acknowledging that it’s okay to disagree. Letting them know that nobody is necessarily right or wrong, that circumstances have to be weighed in, while focusing on the child’s feelings is a wise modus operandi.

Parents should ask their children what they may want or need from them in a conversation, such as advice, simply listening, help in dealing with feelings or help solving a problem. Kids learn by imitating. Most often, they will follow the parents’ lead in how they deal with anger, solve problems and work through difficult feelings. Because kids also learn from their own choices, parents shouldn’t feel they have to step in as long as the consequences are not dangerous. Realizing their children may test them by telling them only a small part of what is bothering them, parents can encourage them to talk and may even get them to share the rest of the story if they listen carefully to what they say.

Listening and talking is the key to a healthy connection between parents and children. To the small child, a mother’s or father’s words are important, comforting, and soothing. Parents should use this to their advantage, for communicating thoughts and ideas is not a skill they or their children are born with. If parents create a trusting intimate relationship from the day their child is born, it’ll naturally carry on into the very difficult teen years and beyond.’

If a child is to have the best quality of life in the best of all possible worlds, he or she has to be familiar with intimacy. As for the parents who have never been connected, the cycle can be broken and their kids spared if they know why they have difficulty being intimate and if they try to make up for their inadequacy by talking to their child. Being completely frank and open with a child and making him reveal his inner thoughts by creating a safe, protective mood so that he doesn’t fear being punished or reprimanded is a good way to proceed.

Because too many of us have never known intimacy, the 100-year-old sexual revolution that we’re undergoing is a social disaster. Since I am an enlightened victim of that revolution, I intend to shed light on how important it is to make a child and even more important to learn to communicate with him. It is extremely hard to use words one has never learned, especially those regarding feelings. But one can have a semblance of intimacy with his child if one takes time to have an honest tête-à-tête with him when circumstances warrant it, or for no reason at all, while making the child feel he’s an important and full-fledged member of the family.

So far, in previous postings, although not exhaustive in nature, I have given what I think is a plausible account of how we got to this wonderful world of credit. That was the easy part. Now, I have to show to those who accept my synopsis of history, ways to take advantage of that great world. With that in mind, I decided to depict the life of two imaginary horny teens who both have been taught intimacy by their parents, and who are both intent on finding the key to having a family that’ll defy the test of time. By showing how they go about planning for a permanent family dream team, and especially how they intend to deal with the sexual minefield that lies before them, it should create a mood for fruitful reflection.

57-EMANCIPATION OF WOMEN

 

3mya, when hominids became intelligent, it meant they had the ability to connect past experiences with future actions. Naturally, they were no longer subjected to the laws of natural selection. So, after many millennia of sexual frustration, the lower order males were now able to devise ways to outsmart the alpha male in order to access the females and fornicate. Realizing that they could experience sexual pleasure without waiting for the females to be in estrus, the males started forcing themselves on the physically weaker gender at will. In time, the genetic pool deteriorated, and it proved to be a double catastrophe for the females, for the males now started to be selective as well.

The males, however, shouldn’t be blamed for this turn of events. Intelligence allowed them to follow the path of least resistance in order to give free expression to their sexual drive, and they simply took it. Like water and electricity, and other forces in the universe, humans are wired to take the path of least resistance. But in order for intelligent individuals to live in a group, there has to be rules and controls. In the natural selection environment of old, the male alpha used muscle in order to establish order, spread the best genes and ensure the survival of the group, but when hominids left that world, those controls disappeared, and humans had to devise new ones. Around 5kya, they did just that by creating writing, reading, and religion.

Nonetheless, women kept being treated like inferior beings. They were used as field hands and baby machines, and they were sold and bought in sophisticated ways by means of a dowry or a bride price. If the fathers wanted to get rid of extra daughters, they paid a dowry, if a family wanted to achieve a higher social rank by associating with a higher-ranking family through marriage, it paid a bride price. Women had no say, they could be marketed at any age, and all that mattered was that they be a virgin. Of course, making sure the young girls remained virgins meant they were even more mistreated by their fathers and even their brothers. On the other hand, if women learned to read and write, they were perceived as a threat to males, and the macho society would accuse them of witchcraft, burn them at the stake, or send them to rot in convents or some such place.

It was only in 1600CE, when the world of credit took root in Amsterdam, that women began entertaining the possibility of emancipation. When the Sephardim and the Huguenots created the East India Company in Amsterdam, in 1602, they ruled the oceans of the world and slowly wrenched world financial power away from the Holy Roman Empire, the Christian Church, in the process. In 1688, they moved their headquarters to the City in London, and created the first democracy. Women did not yet vote and weren’t allowed to own property, but they started earning money in their homes. When Mayer created his bank, the Bank of North America in 1781, it was another major step forward for women. But the real change occurred when Mayer’s son, Nathan, took control of the Bank of England in 1810. It marked the beginning of international banking, and as more credit was made available to the masses, women started working for wages, and were thus gradually emancipated in a real sense. Nonetheless, women had to wait until 1920 in order to get the right to vote, but when they did, it was a point of no return. Once the macho world was undermined, it was only a question of time before women could claim social equality. And when the pill was marketed in the 60’s, it put them on the road to full emancipation.

But the post-war years, as far as female emancipation is concerned, was also a time when the proverbial dung hit the fan, for that’s when women opted to wear the badge of femininity instead of insisting on equality. They chose the worst remedy of all by concentrating their efforts on getting themselves an alpha male by means of seduction in order to advance their social position. But who can blame them for using that approach? After going through 3my of mistreatment, and especially 2ky of macho Christian doctrine, they were totally brainwashed into thinking they were inferior to men. So, they figured if they seduced and snagged an alpha male like they were genetically programmed to have, they could achieve emancipation through him. Unfortunately, they didn’t realize that the alpha male of the natural selection era no longer existed. They didn’t know that the men prancing around looking like male alphas were mainly interested in advancing their own agenda. And the fact that Hollywood was endorsing sexual relationships with virtual alphas as the ultimate form of social success, and the fact that sex was on everybody’s mind, was not meant to help. Understandably, it was only natural for the pseudo alpha males to have sex as often as they could with the want-to-be bimbos by telling them how wonderful and needed they were, and the females believed them.

Though it was natural for the women to adopt the badge of femininity in wanting to look like the Hollywood stars and get themselves an alpha, they soon realized they weren’t getting the desired results and wondered why. That’s when they discovered that aging was an even bigger problem. They deduced that males stopped wanting to have sex with them when they reached menopause. But why didn’t men like mature partners like women did? They simply didn’t know that males are genetically polygamous and programmed to reproduce well past middle age, and that if the female is no longer able to reproduce, the male’s ANS no longer incites him to have sex with her. After suffering mistreatment at the hands of males for 3my, and being subjected to Christian macho doctrine for 2ky, now that she was emancipated, she was being hit with a third bolt of lightning, the genetic quirks of the male’s ANS.

How are women expected to deal with this genetic injustice? That is the question. If women completely discarded the badge of femininity, men and women, the women leading the way, would be more inclined to have genuine relationships based on trust, honesty and respect, instead of sex. But because we left the world of natural selection, because we live in a world of plenty, because we give free rein to our sex drive instead of curbing it, because we measure our self worth against our libido, because we fornicate mainly for pleasure, because men are genetically polygamous and live by the rules of monogamy, our specie has become unnatural and stressed.

We have to get back to some form of equilibrium, and perhaps the only way to do that is to understand our ANS as explained in an earlier posting. If we choose to be monogamous and have a family, it must be for life. We don’t have to get married, for we have the wherewithal to have sex while avoiding pregnancy and disease, but if we do, it should be for the duration and for the purpose of raising a family. Loving and nurturing one’s children, and later, one’s grand-children, is the greatest human experience of all, but we have to make it happen, it’s not free. Forever wanting more, bigger and better stuff in order to feel important, and changing pseudo life partners on a whim is not the way to go. If we choose to be bonded with another, the strength gained in sharing makes us feel secure, gives us confidence and encourages us to do what we love to do. And as we age, the love and satisfaction generated within the family largely compensates for the effort required to keep our sexual drive under control. Sex is not love. Sex is a violent temporary action imposed on us by our ANS while love is the art of being intimate and sharing the joys of raising a family over a whole lifetime.