As a child, getting intimately connected to one’s parents is a beautiful thing that lasts a lifetime. When official education begins in grade school, it is also a wonderful experience, for children are surrounded by nurturing teachers who gently teach them reading, writing, arithmetic and socializing. Later, if he’s lucky, the teen will not go to a middle school, but rather straight from grade school to high school. School becomes a jungle when students become teens, for that is when their libido kicks in, and it starts in middle school. If middle school is integrated into the grade school, then the same nurturing and caring atmosphere will likely reign until they go to high school. When all is said and done, high school is the best training grounds for those who still live by the laws of ‘survival of the fittest’, the bullies.
In high school, that’s when the smelly stuff hits the proverbial fan. Because the teens are now more interested in knowing where they stand with regards to their peer group than listening to the wise counsel of parents and teachers, the nurturing mode goes out the window. It could be said that the students are now on their own in a virtual jungle. The school is ruled by a student dictatorship composed of dorks who surround themselves with molls and goons that sit in the school hallways at lunchtime. This ruling class treat students involved in creative activities, be it shops, music, art, or computer science as lowly nerds, or worse. The goons and molls are mean and nasty and outdo themselves to be well perceived by the dorks. If good girls want to be accepted, they may have to do demeaning sexual acts such as fellatio on the dorks, and the molls are often the enforcers. As for the homosexuals, they are bullied in despicable ways, and everybody lives by the law of omerta. If one knows how high schools tick, one can understand why there are so many suicides and shootings during those ‘learning’ years.
The question then is how does this come about. A good answer would be to say that it’s because children are entering the world of libido and the defunct yet persisting world of survival of the fittest while at the same time leaving their parents’ direct influence. Survival of the fittest and natural selection no longer apply to the human race, but students are bent on living by those very laws. The teens are simply getting ready for the consumer world facing them. The tragedy is that they’re motivated to live by the archaic laws of ‘survival of the fittest’ to the detriment of the values that make all humans happy, because that’s what society tells them to do. They want to be perceived as alphas, in a world where altruistic alphas have long ceased to exist, instead of trying to identify what they really love to do and learning how to establish meaningful relationships. In the wild, the alpha was absolutely indispensable to the survival of the group, but humans have become intelligent, and now live in a world of credit. The genuine altruistic alphas have gone the way of the dinosaurs. Those who still try to be alphas are selfish bullies and are harmful to the group.
High schools are baby-sitting institutions ruled by wannabe pseudo alphas, and that excludes the teaching staff. We could ask, at this point, how dorks become dorks or how hierarchy is established. Well, it has to do with their dong. When boys grow up, they want to know how their wee-wee compares to others. They have all kinds of games and tricks in order to accomplish this. At first, they may have long distance peeing contests, and later, even ejaculating contests, and all this with one thing in mind, how big is my dork compared to the others, or how much of a man am I. As boys get older, the ones with the small dongs know better than to become athletes that have to use the communal showers. They especially don’t want to give a moll, a dork groupie, the opportunity to humiliate them as a male, and that limits their social ambitions. Hierarchy is established just like in the animal kingdom at large. It has to do mainly with strength and size, and if a dork happens to be tall, good-looking and smart and belongs to an ‘important’ family, there’s no telling how far he will go on the road to becoming a pseudo-alpha, or a full blown out bully.
Bullying is normal and genetically sound, for all males in the animal kingdom try to become alphas in that very way. It’s necessary for the survival of each specie because alphas spread the best genes and protect the group. Individuals of a group will force any outsider, who is in the slightest different from them, out of the group. Bullying and exclusion are still very much part of our genetic make-up, but these genetic tendencies must remain latent in the global village of intelligent humans. Though we will always have those genetic tendencies, because we are intelligent, and especially because we have been living in this wonderful world of credit for more than 100 years, a growing number of citizens realize they do more harm than good. More to the point, they no longer contribute to the welfare of society in any way and are harmful to individuals.
If we are to counter these genetic tendencies, we can only do it through education. However, we first have to face the fact that we are 100% animal of the ape family, and admit we have those archaic genetic tendencies. Like in an AA meeting, individuals can only fight their addiction if they first admit they’re addicted. Since most religious groups refuse to face up to the fact that we’re apes, and since our societies are morally guided by those groups, it seems like an impossible task. Some well-meaning and caring individuals use band-aid approaches by pushing for stronger legal deterrents against bullying, but nothing can be done until schools start teaching Darwinism instead of creationism as a starter.
Not only do we have those ‘survival of the fittest’ tendencies in all of us, but modern parents are the ones who are responsible for the proliferation of bullies. Insensitive parenting and unpredictable or negligent care, over-praising and excessive pampering where parents focus intensely on a particular talent or physical trait of their child as a result of their own self-esteem issues, wreaking criticism and abuse that leads to trauma, and later, having extremely high expectations, are sure ways to create a misfit who suffers from a narcissistic personality disorder, or worse, who wants to hit back.
We can wean ourselves off the ‘survival of the fittest’ syndrome by undergoing an educational process based on apprenticeships. The American kick-ass system and the English queenie system have to be reset. Chances are, if one helps his child accept his animal origins and discover his genuine talents, the child will cope very nicely, knowing he is heading for a lifetime of fulfillment. Getting the most prestigious diploma in the most prestigious institution at all cost is not the path to follow, discovering what you love doing and honing your natural talents, that may or may not require diplomas, is. If one does what he loves doing for a living, he will never work a day in his life, and by the same token, will diffuse well-being, fulfillment and happiness all around him. Being nurturing and creative are what makes humans beautiful.